I have been an educator in some capacity since 1996. Public school, homeschool, special needs and regular education, in the United States and in England. A lot has changed in education since the day I first stepped into the classroom, but there are some things that will always remain the same. Every student, no matter their age or educational setting, needs to know that they belong. They have a place in this world. That even with all of their differences, flaws, moods, and opinions, they are loved. They matter. They don’t need to be just like everyone else because their uniqueness is probably one of the coolest things about them.
As a mother of six children, my heart is cautiously optimistic as our students prepare for a new school year. Kids can be mean. When everyone is getting haircuts and school clothes and new backpacks, lunch bags and school supplies, know there will be many students without any of those things. Please, talk to your child about not basing someone’s value on the price of their shoes. Every student who walks through the door feels a bit vulnerable. What your child says to them could build them up or break them. Instead of commenting on material things, encourage them to simply say hello and that it’s good to see their classmate again. It takes the same amount of time to say something positive as it does to say something negative, so why not say something to make their day better? Teach your child to be kind to everyone. Even to the students who are different. Even to the bus drivers, custodial and office staff, and cafeteria workers. Teach them to be kind to themselves. Sometimes we are our own worst critics.
Studies have been done, but any teacher can tell you without proof from a study that an early disconnect from screentime and a good night of rest can make a drastic difference in a student’s day. For starters, just being awake for class is always a plus. The right amount of sleep also puts them in a better mood, makes them more energized, and lifts that brain fog. Please make sure that even your high school students have some kind of pattern that allows them to get enough sleep.
This next bit of advice comes from the standpoint of both a parent and teacher. I have experienced both and can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that it can be hilarious or very serious, depending on how the situation is handled. Here goes: Students repeat things they hear at home. Yes, even the things teachers would rather not know. Parents, I can tell you that teachers take it all with a grain of salt and don’t believe and repeat everything they hear about you. In return, please hear your child’s stories about school with a discerning ear. Of course, important issues should be addressed. However, posting what your child says about a teacher or classmate on social media so they can be publicly humiliated over something that may or may not have actually happened is just unfair and cruel. (Teachers would have some doozies if that were the other way around!) If your child sees you disrespecting their teacher at home, they will disrespect their teacher in class, and it will make things significantly more difficult for everyone. I encourage you to speak positivity into your student about school and save the concerns and comments for a teacher conference. And please do schedule a conference if there are real issues. Your teacher will want to address and correct them as much as you do.
As a parent, I’ve also learned the hard way that trying to get everyone up, ready, and out the door on time in the morning is easily the most stressful part of the day. It’s so easy to shout orders and be short-tempered. I get so grumpy when I feel rushed. So do the kids. No matter how hurried the day is, I have found that if we pause for a few seconds, the day can drastically change for the better. It only takes a few seconds to give a hug. Wish them good luck on an exam. Slip a special note into a lunch box. Tell them you love them. Pray over them. Just a few seconds can change everything.
If you are a new teacher, I will offer you some advice that one of my mentors taught me. Don’t have preconceived notions about a student before they get to you. They may be completely different than whatever you heard about their family, older sibling, or from the teacher the year before. They change, grow and mature. They are their own person. Give them time to show you their talents and abilities all on their own.
And I don’t know about you, but when I was a student, I was immediately on the defensive if a teacher was abrasive from the start. Nobody wants a drill sergeant. I wanted to behave for the teachers that were kind to me. I wanted to make them proud when they spoke encouragement over me. I respected the ones who took time to get to know me and respected me as a person. I don’t know who said it first, but I always think of the saying, ‘You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.’ It holds true for a reason.
Teach them to read, but also teach them their worth.
Review math facts, but also listen to their problems.
Let them learn about science and history, but also learn about their dreams.
Have a blessed, safe, and happy school year, friends!
Denae Jones is a public educator and mother of six. She is also the author of Everyday Grace for Mothers, Everyday Grace for Teens, and Love, Joy, Peace. Look for But, Even Now, her new novel co-authored with Jennifer Thomas, after the first of the year.