Poem: If only I had known

Submitted by Miara Miles of Bethel

Friends seem to forget you exist…
After all, they haven’t seen you in ages.
School used to be your number one focus…
Now you focus just on surviving.
You used to complain about math class…
If only you could go back, you would realize solving those problems weren’t as bad as the ones you must solve now.
You used to learn new vocabulary every week…
Now you learn new medical vocabulary, such as biopsy, scans, surgery, and tumor.
You used to dread health class as many things were too sad to think of…
Now what was too sad is your reality.
You used to complain about the once a year doctors appointments…
Now it’s an every week ordeal.
You used to smile…
Now you find it difficult to smile as your in heaps with pain.
You used to think the worst thing that could happen was having to sit still in class for hours…
Now you sit still for scans that will determine if you have a tomorrow.
Oh how you pray to have a tomorrow.
You used to think you could never go through what you do now…
But look at you. You’re doing it and I’m proud of you.
You used to dread taking medicine…
Now you know it’s the one of the few things keeping you alive. Prayers, hope and faith go a long way too.
You have never seen nor experienced death…
Until your best friend at the hospital has died. Then you’re reminded once again how serious things really are.
You used to see no harm in saying you understand someone’s pain…
Now you understand no one truly understands the pain.
You never knew how precious life was…
Until your new friend dies at five, when their life had just begun.
You never cared about raising awareness about pediatric brain tumors…
Until it happened to you.
How you would quickly scroll past things that had to do with pediatric brain tumors.
Now you wish you would have shared that gray ribbon.
You never knew just how good you had it…
Until the tragedy struck.
The one that would make you realize life will never be the same.
You close your eyes and feel bad for how blinded you truly were…
But now you try and open up everyone else’s eyes to the reality of pediatric brain tumors.

Miara said of her submission:

“I wanted to submit a poem that I wrote that talks briefly about my life with a brain tumor. I like to bring awareness to pediatric brain tumors as it has been something I have been diagnosed with.”