Mark Hoover
By Mark Hoover

My mother-in-law passed away on September 26, 2015. Although Barb lived a long life, my wife and I didn’t realize she would take her final breath on that Saturday evening. The Friday before her death, my wife and I visited her in the hospital’s intensive care unit. We spoke to her about what we were going to do after she left the hospital. Friday evening, the night before she died, we said our goodbyes and told Barb we loved her. I didn’t realize it would be our final goodbye.

After battling lingering illnesses, she succumbed to pneumonia. Barb was born in 1939—the year Adolph Hitler would try to become the self-appointed dictator of the modern world. Thankfully, the allies stopped the insanity before my mother-in-law was old enough to know America was at war. Throughout her life, she experienced hunger and poverty like many other families in the 40s and 50s. However, she rarely complained. She reminded me of a comic strip character named Maxine—a lovable but cantankerous senior citizen with a strong opinion about everything.

As I have gotten older, I have lost many family members and friends to death. Although we never forget these people, we are only left with our memories and broken hearts. After a family member dies, surviving family members face the difficult task of handling the deceased’s person affairs. While arranging Barb’s personal papers, we came across a bag that contained various old photographs that have turned yellow from time. Her life unfolded in front of my wife and me in a series of photographs I had never seen before.

We saw a prom picture, big hair, nameless friends, and other family members that have died long ago. In her pictures, we saw Barb as a young woman full of life and excitement. Over the years, I watched her health and zest for life fade away like an old memory. Watching the decline of a loved one is painful.

With the holiday season coming, it will be our first without Barb. Before she became ill, she always visited during the holidays. For Christmas, she would choose a spot under the Christmas tree and begin tossing gifts like boomerangs. If you didn’t get your hands up like an NFL receiver, you might end up with a gash on your head from a tightly wrapped box.

My mother-in-law decided to start a tradition of buying me socks for Christmas. As far as I can remember, she always bought me socks for Christmas. She said she knew I could use them, and assumed I probably wouldn’t buy them myself. In the movie “It’s a Wonderful life” Clarence the angel let George Bailey know he received his wings by the sound of a ringing bell. Somehow, I believe Barb will give us a sign that she is okay. Most likely, it won’t be a ringing bell since I know she already has her wings.