George Brown
A few weeks ago I shared some thoughts with you that my sister Kathy had written in her journal about the loss of her husband.

Don passed away on Aug. 30 from colon cancer, but he also had been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease for the past two years. My sister is a very special person and has been blessed with the gift of expressing with pen the deepest thoughts and emotions of her soul.

In the hope that this will be a blessing to others, Kathy has again granted me the privilege of sharing a passage from her Journal. This is a letter she wrote to Don on Dec. 1.

“Good morning Sweetheart:

On July 19, we were on our way home from our last visit with the Oncologist. Doctor Rasheed told us that you possibly had six months to live. As we drove home you asked me, ‘Did he say six months?’ When I replied, ‘Yes,’ you asked, ‘How long is that?’ I said, ‘We will spend Christmas together.’ You softly mumbled, ‘Okay’ and said nothing more.

Our conversation ended as we rounded the last curve, headed home together for the last time. My heart was full of hope as I reflected on that word, ‘December…’, not knowing I had but six more weeks to cradle you in my arms before you would round your last curve and the Lord would call you home.

I often meditate on the line from Merle Haggard’s song, ‘If we make it through December, everything’s gonna be all right.’ Sometimes I feel like screaming obscenities, but I would only be shouting at the wind. I do not want to struggle anymore and I dislike the taste of lye soap!

There are days when it seems that my mind only goes in one direction; perhaps I should call OnStar because I am lost. The only way to go is up, for this has to be the lowest point I have ever felt in my life. I want to venture on and make plans for the future but my mind drifts. An hour later, I am still reading the same line or stuck on the same stitch.

The future? I am waiting on the edge of nowhere. There are times when the horizon does not look bright, but the sun is shining today and I do feel a bit better, having made it through our birthdays and Thanksgiving.

There are days when I feel like an early pioneer traveling across America. I pause to carve my name on the soft stone of a cliff to let others who follow know that I made it to this point. They too can leave their mark when they pass this way.

I know there is still business to attend to. A voice inside reminds me, ‘Keep it together Kathy; you have blueberry pies, banana muffins, and chocolate chip cookies to bake.’

Then, in a moment of quiet reflection, I find myself reaching out, trying to touch the colors of the misty dawn. I am calmed by the lake’s still waters. My heart swells with pride of being loved, and knowing that not everyone can recall memories like mine, sweeter than maple sugar candy.

Thank you for riding beside me for forty-seven years. You have reached the other side, please wait for me. It is not yet time for me to round that last curve, but I will fetch my reward soon enough and will once more see the light in your eyes. Until then, as always, I will love you forever and a day.

Kathleen”

George Brown is the executive director of Clermont Senior Services.