TOO HARD TO SWALLOW

There’s a commercial airing now starring Sally Field for an osteoporosis medication called Boniva.

That, in itself, is not very interesting, unless, of course, you have osteoporosis or know Sally Field personally or are stalking the former Flying Nun.

What is interesting is Field’s opening statement: “(My girlfriend) says she has to set aside time one day a week to take her osteoporosis medication.”

Now, I ask you, how much time is involved in swallowing a pill? Let’s calculate: Filling a small glass of water, 2.5 seconds; opening bottle of pills, 3.0 seconds; taking out one pill, 1.4 seconds; raising left hand toward mouth and depositing pill on tongue, 3.2 seconds; raising right hand with glass of water and drinking, 3.9 seconds. Total = 14 seconds.

Oh My Gawd! Fourteen seconds! Where does her girlfriend find the time. Why, that’s 0.00162 percent of her day!

I take four pills in the morning and seven pills in the evening if you count my vitamins and antihistamine.

If I had to add osteoporosis medication one day a week, I might as well give up my day job.